Happy birthday to me

Well it’s my birthday today and well…. I can whine If I want to. I don’t really have much to whine about mostly just about a few things that I would love but I know are just simply not going to happen.

I’m not a big things person. I really only have one collection and I love it with all my heart because each piece means something special. My lovely hubby got me three new pieces to represent me and our three boys. Each of the boys made me a card this morning and they all greeted me in bed with presents and love. What more could a mom ask for. Really not much else.

the front three

I’m happy with my life. I wasn’t looking for some wonder extravagant gift. This was actually more than what I was expecting which is always nice.

There are just a few things I wish could happen as well today.

  • Have an uninterrupted shower. Which means from the moment I turn on the water till I am dressed again that no one whines, cries or asks for food.
  • Have a friend stop by with a drink or something to visit me. I like to see people, I pretty much think my friends are awesome, and it would be nice to see them.
  • My phone to ring. Like actually ring, with a voice on the other end. While Facebook love and text messages are awesome, a personal connection is great. ( i’m guilty of sometimes not calling people but I usually try to)
  • My hubby to organize a dinner date on his own. Meaning he calls the babysitter, sets it up, takes some time off and makes me feel a little extra special. ( I’m a pregnant hormonal mess sometimes it’s nice to feel special )

That’s pretty much it’s. That’s my birthday wish list. Sure I could go all materialistic, but most things with that are not really for me exactly they are things I would like for the baby.  Like a pretty new wrap or something like that, but that is even less likely to happen.

What’s on your mommy birthday wish list?


Food based Russian Roulette

Now being the nutritionally savvy person I am, I like to think I have a grasp on food. I know what is good for your body and I know what is bad. I can cook awesome food that is super healthy without even thinking about it. It’s like a gift I have. Normally our food has been really good. We have the odd indulgence but we definitely eat better than the average North American.

You know what though, little baby sweet pea doesn’t give a rats ass what Mommy thinks about eating healthy.

What do I get cravings for? Something deep friend, smothered in gravy and cheese. Yes my current love is poutine. You should have it if you haven’t before, it is awesome. I want salt and lots of salt. Like I’m telling you I could just crack the sea salt right into my mouth and be happy. Now I know this isn’t all the good for me. I know we need to balance food.

But little baby sweet pea still doesn’t give a rats ass. If I don’t give my little fetus what my body is craving I get to vomit. That’s seems to be my choice right now. Eat what I crave or hug a toilet. This really isn’t too hard of a choice. The problem comes when I want something but I have no idea what. This create a very emotional time because I know if I don’t eat I will be sick and if I eat the wrong thing I will be sick. Kinda feels like I’m running around blindfolded in the grocery store with a gun to my head… pick the wrong thing and DEATH. Yes that may sound a touch dramatic but unless you have experienced this level of sickness and heartburn you can’t possibly understand.

Yes so what’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner ………. who knows???????

I’m sure the other children can survive on what they can reach and what I can throw on a plate without being sick, right? I’m sure. Oh and what dad makes when he is home. ( He is awesome like that )

Emotional turmoil

Have you ever been on a roller coaster? One of the real awesome ones that go up and down and fling you all around? You know the one that are better if the are faster and go upside down? Well roller coasters are just awesome. They give you an amazing thrill that just can’t be beat for some people.

web credit

You know what roller coaster is not awesome an emotional one. Pregnancy puts me on a steep emotional roller coaster.  Add in some stress and the situation can get a little dire. I will be sitting thinking about something or nothing and I will have an overwhelming urge to cry. Or the bread isn’t fluffy enough so I just want to punch the entire loaf and chuck it out the window. I’m not usually this irrational( a bit but not this much) but this time it is so much worse. I feel a little crazy and a lot unstable. I seriously have no idea how I’m going to react in any situation. Some days it makes me want to just stay home because it is just easier that way.  It would be wonderful if I had people who understand how I feel and what I am going through but alas that isn’t seeming like it will happen anytime soon. When you are going through emotional turmoil it seems like everybody sucks.

Mamavation Monday ~~~ When the world crashes

Just keep going. Life will go on with or with out you.
Ever have those weight-loss moments when you feel like nothing you do is ever going to work? When you don’t understand why you can’t seem to lose weight. You change your diet, you eat right, you exercise. Nothing changes though…… Or worse the weight goes up. Really really lame!
Yup this has been battle I knew a few issues were on I had trouble getting enough calories into my body for what I was doing. I wasn’t hungry but my body was starving. I really have been trying to change this but it is hard. The second reason I suspected but hadn’t confirmed due to wonky hormones. I was pregnant. Unfortunately was is the key word. This has been very saddening, but it happens  it just sucks. So we are on the path of working to heal my body a bit more and get it ready to grow another person when the time is right.
Getting back on track in a few days. Just need a few moments to process.

My kids would never……

Admit it you have thought it. Your kids are always so much better behaved then    ( insert names )    kids. You know they are just better all around, because you are a far better parent. Now do you seriously believe that? That you are so much better then they are? Really?

Sometimes I know it is hard to not compare our kids with someone else’s. Especially when your children are doing the opposite of the other person’s.  I know I am guilty of it. Now I have been on both sides of the issue. Sometimes the boys are WILD and I am sooooo embarrassed. I have no idea what has gotten into them but someone must of slipped them crazy pills. Those were honestly earlier days in my parenting when I didn’t realize that sometimes kids are just crazy, I still have moments when I feel so hot with embarrassment but that is my own issue not theirs. I’m sure people think my children at times are just wild nut balls and I don’t care about how they behave. I’m sure some people think I’m too lenient on them, on the flip side I’m sure there are times when people think I am too hard on them..

I am a big believer of ” place and time”, for most behaviors there is a place and time. They are just children after all and learning the world that they live in. They have little bodies that desire to move, a lot. They have brains that desire to be filled with knowledge, so they seek out new experiences and want to know about everything around them. They have amazing imaginations, so there are a lot more wonders in their world.

There are a few things where I do stand my ground with my children. They will be kind and inclusive, I have run into times when they don’t want to play with a particular child. I will pull my child aside and ask them 1st why the don’t want to play with them? 2nd if they would like to be treated this way. Now if the other child is being unkind and that is why my child doesn’t want to play that is understandable. I will though if it seems to be a problem encourage my child to approach the other child and see if something can be worked out. Now at time i will need to mediate remember my children are still young. These though are life skills, these are needed to be leaned. So when I see a parent being totally okay with their child being rude and intentionally excluding, I definitely get a ” my child would never behave like that “.

Another is speaking disrespectfully, now it has happened a few times where on of the children have been sassy and rude, but I deal with it and if they choose to be like that then they choose to not be in the situation. Hateful mean words & tone are not needed. There is usually an amicable way to deal with whatever the situation is. It is though the parents I see who continually allow their children to spew hate at them or others and not do anything about it. No acknowledgement of wrong doing or how they are hurting another person with their words. I really shake my head. now it is not my place to judge as I may be witnessing something that has come to a head and it just can’t be dealt with at that moment or it could be disastrous  Though I do find it happening more and more. Kindness, love and respect seem to be things of the past, relics almost.  Yes though when I hear children spewing at their parents that they hate them or even clearly controlling their parents will with the child’s attitude I will do a ” my kids would never…”

Now I’m not perfect, heck far from it but I parent with love and respect. I will always love my children, I know that they love me to even when they are mad. Sometimes we don’t know how to deal with our children and their behaviors  Sometimes we believe that a parenting class should be required to have children With on going training, because we know that sometimes the on the job training sucks. I hope we are all doing the best we can with the tools we are given. We don’t always know everyone’s story, but we can help them create new chapters in their books.  So maybe next time you see someone struggling with their children instead of thinking ” my kid’s would never be such awful horrible little beings, their mother must let run all over her!” Ask her if she needs a hand, be a friend. maybe even smile and think good thought about her and her children and wish her the best.

So what about you, Have you ever had a ” my kids would never…..”

2012 What a year!

What a year 🙂 So much has happened in our little family is the last year.
Thinking back and reflecting on 2012. Cael celebrated his first birthday and has learned so many things. He can walk, talk use a spoon, fork and a cup. He is so full of fun and it has been an amazing time,
In April a series of events lead Hubby to getting surgery on his ankle for a bone infection, that I guess he has had for years. We are so lucky that it was finally diagnosed and the issue has been solved. So happy that he has been pain free since then, which hopefully means no more flare ups.

Home Learning was really in full swing this year. We have gone on amazing field trips, met some amazing people and looking forward to continuing on this path for us. Damian joined beavers last year but really has gotten into it this year. I have joined on as a colony leader who who knows how long? 😉

This summer was truly amazing  it started off with the Stampede and the 100 year celebration. Damian got to ride in the parade with Great Grandpa. We also got to go to the Ponoka Stampeded with Grandpa, the boys had so much fun with that.  We we on rides, played some games and had a blast. Nothing quite like partying cowboy style!
 After a few weeks with family in Alberta we headed home to prepare for the Epic Extravaganza. What else could you call a 17 day road trip with three children across Canada and the upper USA! 4 provinces and I think 13 states we crossed while driving. We started off the trip with Hubby and mine 10 year high school reunion, and some fun on the lake. .  Saw my sisters, they both live far away from me, and their kids. Saw Hubby’s Dad & his little family,stayed with them for a few days.We went to Niagara Falls, one of my bucket list places, we even took a ride on the maid of the mist
 We stopped to see Mount Rushmore, or the “Mountain Men” as I called the last time I saw them ( I was 4 I think) Next to Yellowstone, where we got to see Old Faithful, and buffalo. At both National parks the boys worked towards their Junior Ranger badges, and still talk about them to this day.
Then we stopped in Salt Lake city  for the night to see the temple, So thrilled to be able to have been there as a member this time. Hopefully next time we go we can spend more time. We camped along the way with the children and yes the baby stayed in his cloth diapers for the trek. ( I have that many and with the stops at family I was able to do laundry )
Then fall came, back to reality….. and packing. You see before we left on the Epic Extravaganza we found a new home, A place that was going to meet our need more fully

I celebrated my birthday.I harvested my first successful garden. :)Then the move, I thankfully went off without a hitch. Next came the Damian and Ainsley’s birthdays, wow 6 & 4 I can barely believe it. November then December and I can barely believe it is over again. We have done so much this year but it still feels like 2012 just started.

I’m looking forward to 2013, I’m sure it will be amazing. We have plans and goals, I hope it works out for the best 🙂

Emotional teeter totter

Your mental balance is very important. Going to emotional extremes can be extremely taxing on your your health. Most often people don’t think of their mental health when they are thinking about getting healthy. Your mental health is so important thought!

Your thoughts can change your success.

Stress can change progress.

Your self esteem can hold you back from seeing what you are doing

The need for praise can make you feel like a failure.

You need to be in a head space that you can go for your dreams. Where when people tell you what you are doing wont work, you believe in yourself. When they tell you you’ll gain it all back, you’ll know you can keep your success going. When they tell you there’s not point, if your going to have another baby. You’ll know that having a healthy fit body is better for both you and baby and that you can lose the weight again!

There will be down days, there will be up days. But you are in control of your emotions. You can decide how you are going to let people’s attitudes determine your emotions. You are a woman and you have all the power you need to do what you need to do. Go for it!!!! 

I remember 9-11

Really most people know about 9-11. I’m going to tell you about that day in my life.

I was just a day shy of 17. I woke up around 7am to get ready for school. It was my last day of being 16, I was looking forward to another day of seeing my friends. I got showered, dressed and ready. I’m my house we didn’t have any news or radios on in the morning. There was likely cartoons on for the younger kids but we were oblivious to what was going on in the world. I had some breakfast and then headed off to school. I remember the walk to school being unusually quiet. There really didn’t seem to be anyone around, I didn’t think much of it as I walked. Life is pretty good when you are a teenager a day before their birthday. I walked skipped and hummed along my merry way.

It was when I got to school that I noticed something was very different about today. There weren’t many people outside. Very unusual. I entered the front doors and there was everyone. it seemed like one of those strange drone scenes in a movie it seemed like everyone was fixated on the TV’s. We had TV’s through out our school to post the different announcements and time. We had them in most classrooms as well. It seemed that at each and every TV there were 30-50 students huddled and staring. in larger locations more. There were some people sobbing and some in complete shock just staring. I remember walking in and having now idea what was going on. The first time I looked at one of the TV’s it all happened in slow motion. Every TV was turned to CNN. At first I didn’t understand what was going on. Even when I try to remember it is just clouds of dust and debris and information, but unable to process the information that was coming through. Then I remember seeing the clip of the plane going into the tower. I join my fellow students staring in disbelief. I remember that feeling of utter sadness and astonishment. How could this be happening?

Through the day information come through. I really honestly don’t know if anything was actually achieved for school work that day. There were some teachers that turned off the TV’s so students would just keep staring. Watching the terror happen over and over again with more and more news reports of people dying.

I remember, I probably always will. This event shook the world in a way that not many other events have. This reshaped history.

Today I will reflect and remember all those who were lost. I will pray for their families that they find comfort and solace. This is a day of remembrance. Remember where we were where we have come and where we will go.

Two lights soar high in the sky as a tribute to the 9/11 disaster in NYC