Elias James – A HBAC birth story

Given that today is E’s 1st Birthday I figured I would finally get around to writing out his birth story.

It was a snowy day, I was thrilled. We really don’t get much snow here on the West Coast. It just rains a LOT, there are many types of rain and I was wanting more of the frozen fluffy variety. I had visions of have the baby by the Christmas tree with snow falling softly in the background. I really didn’t think today was going to be the day, I had hoped the baby would arrive 5 days earlier on the 15, just to give a bit more distance from Christmas.

In the morning my Grandma had gone outside to shovel the front walk, and the older three were helping her. I stood watching from the upper floor window. thinking I should go help but knowing that my pregnant body would not hold up to it.1476211_10152067370925042_1113720901_n

I continued to wander around the house trying to figure out a way to keep myself busy. I decided the best course of action was to go out side and get some pictures of the kids in our rare snow day. I bundled my self up as much as I could and headed out. Taking pictures of course turned into a snowball fight and making snow angels

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We of course had to get a picture of my rounded self. Not knowing it would be one of the last ones of me pregnant.

After some snow fun we had some lunch and then it was time for a nap as both C and I were tired. I know Grandma went down for a nap as well. The bigger boys headed downstairs to watch some TV.  Here is when things began to get started.

I remember about 2pm waking up to a sudden though of  “GET OUT OF THE BED NOW!” I got up and rushed to the bathroom as fast as my waddley self could go. Once I got the en suite toilet I knew something didn’t feel quite right. I drooped my pants as fast as I couldDSCF2208 and assumed the position. GUSH Yup there she goes, a bust of amniotic fluid. My plug had gone a day or two before so there was no surprise here. I was pretty sure things were going to go into gear from here. I didn’t want to wake the sleeping house though so I called my Doula and let her know what was going on. After talking we had decided to see how things are progressing and she would get her affairs in order so that she could head over. I then sent my hubby probably the most interesting text. Thankfully he actually was on high alert and checking his phone at this time. ( He doesn’t most of the time)

The text- Are you committed to working the rest of your day? Really who asks their husband that? Clearly I was kinda going into my birth space at this point because that is just not a normal thing to ask, when your waters have release and you are having regular birthing waves. Alas that is the question I asked.  His response was one to question what I was talking about and to quickly call me. I explained that my waters had released about 45 minutes prior and things were kinda getting started. I then asked him again if he wanted to come home. He naturally made the wise choice to cancel the rest of his day and was home in about 7 minutes.

When he arrived I still hadn’t told anyone in the house that things had started. Grandma was still having her nap and none the wiser. With David’s arrival it was clear that something was going on to the everyone else, because why else would he be home 4 -5 hours early. David came to the bedroom to find me where I was still keeping things together for the most part but things were definitely getting more intense. I had him start getting the pool ready as we were having a waterbirth at home with this baby.  Now here the exact series of events get kinda hazy I’m pretty sure David had the pool set up before I had him me to the living room so I could start listening to my birthing time hypnobabies soundtrack. He may have been doing that while I was listening but those details don’t really matter. I know by about 4 or 4:30 David had called our doula back to know that things were definitely going and she needed to get here quickly. I just know she showed up at one point.  Remember being glad that she was there because I was getting done with listening to my track and I wanted her to tell me I could stop doing it now. ( Our doula was also our hypnobabies instructor)

Shortly after she arrived I remember something being decided that i needed to go to the bathroom. I hadn’t been since my water release a few hours previous. I’m pretty sure my hallways was longer than it had ever been, they tricked me somehow and took me through a fun house maze maybe. But either way we got there and whoa doodle movement made things get moving. I’m not sure how long we were there it may have been 10 minutes or longer. I felt like a long time but not at the same time. It is crazy how your perception is so wonked out when you are in the moment.  Anyways after that experience I then wanted back in the living room. I wanted to see my Christmas tree and see if things were the way I liked it. I couldn’t walk by myself at this point because things were so intense. My hubby and doula then got me all set up with my ball and a chair for support. That way I didn’t fall off the ball. Which is something I do when I am in fully control of my body, let’s not take chances while my primal self is in control.

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At one point C brought me some rubber duckies to hold. They were really the best things for me because I could squeeze them with every wave.

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On our way back to the living room I had asked David to start getting the water in the tub because I was ready to get in.  This is where a series of funny little events happened. I sat there watching David get the water filled and I saw that he had forgotten to put the liner in. It took me awhile to put together the words to tell him that he had forgotten it. By the time I did there was an inch or so of water in the bottom of the pool. so cue dumping water and getting a liner in place 🙂

After awhile I asked when I could get in thing were really starting to feel very intense. I don’t tend to be super vocal and the environment was very peaceful. I was calm but I was starting to doubt myself. ( which should have been a clear indicator that we were almost done)

When It was finally time for me to get into the pool it was quite the process. Both David and our doula had to help up to standing, which prompted another release of waters.  then out of the clothes I was wearing. Two steps another birthing wave and then another two to get me to the pool. I was then assisted into the pool. The water felt lovely. I often use baths for a method of relaxation and this was so wonderful.

Things happened very fast at this point. I had a birthing wave but it was not the same intensity as they had previously been. I relaxed back into the pool edge, sinking into a level of peaceful bliss. I was aware of things going on around me  but they didn’t simply matter at all. I’m pretty sure something could have been burning down and I would have smiled in peace. Speaking of burning, next came a slight burning sensation, I thought to myself. “huh? this just maybe the ring of fire the people speak of “. The thought that followed was ” how do I know I am dilated enough?” Oh had I forgot to mention there was no midwife in attendance? Yeah we weren’t really into that sort of thing this time around. More on that later. Or you can go back to last year and see the issues surrounding that. 🙂

So back to the topic at hand. as I lay there contemplating how my body was actually doing its job in birthing a baby. I decided I should let everyone in on what was happening. As the next wave hit I rolled to my side and announced that the baby was coming.  There was a flurry of activity, as the bigger boys were downstairs and had expressed that they wanted to be present for the birth. The video camera was on and children were called. D wanted to video the birth C DSCF2234thought he should as well, thus a fight had to ensue. My rock awesome doula came up with a solution and had a little battery-powered candle that C  got to hold for mommy.  I was hearing most of the goings on but was pretty much numb to it.  I really had my own thing going on.

I remember telling Dave that I think the baby is coming and that the head was there. He checked and then I am pretty sure I told him to not touch the baby. One more wave and out he came. David assisted me in getting the baby as I was up on my knees and wanted to sit back. Out he came from the water and he was a healthy screaming baby boy. WOW 4 boys for us. How blessed are we 🙂 He was born about 7:10 pm, 5 hours after my waters had released and 3 1/2 hours after the birthing waves really began to kick in. DSCF2256

We then decided to call the midwives now that the baby was born and the birth couldn’t be interfered with. I snuggled my sweet baby boy in the water for quite some time after. He latched and started nursing within about 5 minutes of his birth.  after about 20 or so minutes it was decided that I needed to get out of the pool. I had tried but was unable to move. I think my body was pretty exhausted from the butt whooping that it just got from a very fast birthing time. I had David pretty much pick me and the baby up out of the pool and we headed to the bedroom where I then birthed the placenta 20 is minutes later and I could rest.

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The baby and I remained connected until the placenta delivery and then after we separated him from the placenta. Mostly just because I was worried about the older boys knocking it over and making a mess. I was then able to lay back and rest a bit. My wonderful doula kept my hydrated and nourished with water and dates all they time. It was like she knew I needed stuff before I did. It was wonderful to have such a help.

Unfortunately my body it had scar tissue from my first two births and I torn again so that needed to be fixed. I think that is why I felt the need to have the midwife in attendance. The stitching was a very interesting and educational component for little boys who  felt that they had to be part of everything. There were some things said and statements that made everyone laugh. Needless to say I don’t think they will be shocked when their future wives have babies of their own. Thankfully it was an easy one and she was able to get things done right there.  We then weighed our little monkey. 8 pounds! Bigger than his last brother but smaller than the biggest two

DSCF2294After all was said and done The midwife was present for maybe about 2 hours most of it being paperwork. My doula left after about 2 hours post birth I think. Then it was time to settle everyone down for rest for the night.  I stayed in bed and life was really quite wonderful no one moving disturbing me or anything. I just got to relax in the comfort of my own home after my baby.

For the record my Doula was Gina Snyder of Truly Pure Birth. If you live in the GVRD and are having a homebirth you should use her.

The thing about depression is…

This week the world was rocked by the death of Robin Williams. He was one of those actors that people just knew about. He was EPIC! I knew in memory in our house we have been watching his movies the past few night just bringing the laughter and remembering him and not focusing on his passing. That is what really had been what his family had requested. Remember the legacy, remember the man. I have seen many tributes to his name and most of them have been wonderful. I only say most because I’m sure I haven’t seen them all so there may very well be some bad ones out there.

This moment though I am going to discuss his death. It’s uncomfortable because it wasn’t natural causes. Robin Williams committed suicide. The funny man of the world made a choice and ended his life prematurely. This fact alone has lead some people to use his death for the normal everyday anti suicide/ depression propaganda.

Propaganda, you say?!?! No one wants anyone to ever decide to take their life. We are having people here. Knowing that they can reach out. Telling them that it is okay to talk to some one. Bullocks, is what I say on you.

If you have ever been in that dark place that is depression you might understand what it feels like to want to end your life. Depression is not just something that can be fixed by sitting down and telling someone how your day is going. Depression isn’t just one thing.  Most times it is together with other mental illness. Often anxiety, angrophobia, food addiction and substance abuse, pair up with this dark monster. At times when people are telling you to reach out, often you just want them to go away. Them telling you that you need help, doesn’t feel like it comes from a place of concern but a place of judgement.

What most people don’t understand is depression isn’t just a one day or few week thing that is instantly fixed but a good chat with a friend. Depression, true real depression is a debilitating force that crushes your very soul. It is a weight on your chest feels like it crushed your last breath with every thought of how you are once again a failure. I really want people to understand how different depression is from feeling sad or having a bad day.

So really what I am trying to get at is telling someone who is experiencing sever mental trouble and you are concerned about them. Stop telling them to seek help and get it for them. Be there be a force in their lives that not only shows that you care but that you are consistent. When you are dealing with this at times having someone consistent can be a saving grace.  Stop telling someone that you will be there and actually BE there. If you are worried that someone you know may commit suicide, be there. Actually be there. The onus is on you, that other person is suffering and is not capable of rational decisions.

 

Food, Clothes and Finally Some Weight

I figure it has been a bit since my last pregnancy update. I’ll let you in on a few things that are going on around here. I’m starting to feel human again, well as human as one can feel when growing a life knowing that someone else is living in you, some days sucking your very life-force. Honestly some days my belly looks like some out of the Alien movies with all the moving and shifting.  Hey that means the baby is growing a moving though so it’s a good thing that I just have to live with …. again. But hey I can eat and get around and some days I’m even adventurous enough to leave my house with my children. ( yeah me!)

I can eat eggs again. Don’t be too proud this was Damian’s plate mine was half the size

With feeling better I’m starting to eat better too! Two weeks ago on our camping trip the two little ones and I both came down with a lovely little intestinal virus. Not awesome but that is a whole other story that I should get around to writing. 😉 Though since I have recovered from that ( which took about 4 days) I seem to be able to eat a bit more. Which is good, seeing as the boys clap and rewards me with thumbs up and pats on the back when I finish a dinner smaller than the toddlers plate. *shame* Yeah they all out eat me now and I’m supposed to be supporting another life. But hey when baby sweet pea says the there is enough food  in the belly, I don’t argue anymore. See I do learn my lessons , eventually. With being able to eat that means that I finally get to put on some weight. Which is good when you are pregnant and  been losing weight. While I am being aware of my pregnancy gains I know what my body has done in the past with the boys and I just watch the food I eat and the weight will do what it will. I’m able to eat more food that are considered healthy so that is a huge bonus. Most of the food aversions seem to have left which makes eating and making dinner so much easier.

my tiger stripes

Now my belly has been growing even with the weight loss. So the stretching is happening. You think with this being the fourth baby that my body would be as stretched as it is going to get. Wrong! this one seem to be loving the sideways stretch hips butt and belly are where all the weight is going. So maternity clothes still suck ass because they just don’t seem to fit me. Though as much as I hate laundry I really dislike the idea of the rest of the world seeing me naked, so we make do with clothes when we go out. Then there is a lot of comfy pants and t-shirt at home. You know  what is also driving my bonkers this pregnancy, my BRA! It is an evil contraption that hates my breasts. I’m sure of it. I figure it will have to be replaced because we are just not getting along any more. The moment I get home I can’t get upstairs to take it off fast enough. It only  gets worn when I have to leave the house and see people. I have a thing , it’s odd, but I feel uncomfortable around other people without a bra on. Totally my own personal special issue.

Well here we are at 25 weeks. and while I’m still expecting to have this little sweet pea a week early, we are getting to the final countdown. The stuff that needs to get done in the next few weeks keeps growing. Clean the garage out so the van can go in, which involves a fair amount of purging crap, um… junk, er.. our lovely possessions that we no longer have use for our even know why we have. Cleaning and  er… finding the baby clothes ( which are in the garage with the rest of the stuff, from our move a year ago. * shame* ) Prepping for Christmas and all that come with that, food , gifts, decorations, parties, gatherings and what not. We need to get any birth supplies we need so that we are prepared and not caught off guard. So time is ticking and stuff need to get done. Wish me luck. Let hope for some energy in the third trimester so we can get it all done on top of the regular day to day stuff, of being a homeschooling mom and housewife.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins with Coconut flour

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins with Coconut Flour

Since I have been pregnant it is no secret that I have been sick sick sick. I recently sat down and looked at the nutritional needs for pregnancy, and I realized no matter how much I tried I was failing miserably. So I decided to make a muffin jam packed with goodness. Lots of good fats and omegas in these yummy little muffins.

I made a dozen this is the last one

1/2 cup organic butter
1/4 cup Maple Syrup
1/4 cup raw unpasteurized Honey
2-3 RIPE Bananas
3 free range farm eggs
3 tbsp Coconut Flour
1 1/2 tbsp Chia seeds
3 tsp Flax seeds
2 tsp Baking soda
1/4 cup Chocolate chips ( optional )
1/4 cup Crushed walnuts (optional )

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a muffin tin with liners. ( trust me you need to have these or your muffins will stick) Blend butter, maple syrup, honey and bananas together till well mixed. Add eggs, chia seed and flax. Blend in coconut flour and baking soda. Mix till a nice consistency is formed, does not have to be completely smooth, mine was a bit lumpy. Add chocolate chip and/ or walnuts if you feel so inclined.  I used a 1/4 cup to dish the muffins into the lined tray and they filled up perfectly. Put in over for 15-20 minutes, check for readiness but using the toothpick check. Yields 12 muffins

* please note when they first come out until the y are completely cooled they seemed a bit greasy. I took them out and placed them on paper towel and once they were cool there was no greasiness left

Food based Russian Roulette

Now being the nutritionally savvy person I am, I like to think I have a grasp on food. I know what is good for your body and I know what is bad. I can cook awesome food that is super healthy without even thinking about it. It’s like a gift I have. Normally our food has been really good. We have the odd indulgence but we definitely eat better than the average North American.

You know what though, little baby sweet pea doesn’t give a rats ass what Mommy thinks about eating healthy.

What do I get cravings for? Something deep friend, smothered in gravy and cheese. Yes my current love is poutine. You should have it if you haven’t before, it is awesome. I want salt and lots of salt. Like I’m telling you I could just crack the sea salt right into my mouth and be happy. Now I know this isn’t all the good for me. I know we need to balance food.

But little baby sweet pea still doesn’t give a rats ass. If I don’t give my little fetus what my body is craving I get to vomit. That’s seems to be my choice right now. Eat what I crave or hug a toilet. This really isn’t too hard of a choice. The problem comes when I want something but I have no idea what. This create a very emotional time because I know if I don’t eat I will be sick and if I eat the wrong thing I will be sick. Kinda feels like I’m running around blindfolded in the grocery store with a gun to my head… pick the wrong thing and DEATH. Yes that may sound a touch dramatic but unless you have experienced this level of sickness and heartburn you can’t possibly understand.

Yes so what’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner ………. who knows???????

I’m sure the other children can survive on what they can reach and what I can throw on a plate without being sick, right? I’m sure. Oh and what dad makes when he is home. ( He is awesome like that )

Trying to make a change

You know what you want to do with your health. Though the big question is what are the steps that you need to take? Do you need to do a complete diet overhaul? Join a gym? Get a trainer? It all can get very overwhelming. Particularly if you are a busy mom with little ones it can seem like too much.

So what do you do?

Well remember back in school the ” K.I.S.S” acronym? If you don’t then you really need to know about this. It is quite easy and can be applied in many aspects of life.  Keep It Simple Silly ( or whatever “S” word you choose to use)

Thats about it. Keep it simple. Your body got the way it was over years, it wont change in just a few days it will take time and effort. Making small simple manageable steps will keep you going. Major over hauls get exhausting. Cutting out all your fave foods suck ass. You can make the change you want you just need to start smaller.

Start with going for a evening walk with the family or without if that will help sanity. Bring up the pace mix up the terrain. ( I have no shortage of hills in my area) Look up different workout routines on YouTube. Some of them can be really fun. Go try a yoga or Zumba class. For classes I wouldn’t suggesting getting a long membership right off the bat go for a month or two before shelling out the big $$$.

Try for one or two carb & sugar free dinners a week. Add raw veggies to all your lunches. Grab something new from the health alse next time you are in the grocery store ( not the treats, the real food)

Small and simple differences can make for better changes. More lasting changes.

If you choose to do a detox or cleanse keep the timing short but at least 21 days. It is said that it takes 21 days to make a habit. You don’t want to do a sugar cleanse just to binge after it.

What small and simple changes have you made this week towards better health

What’s for dinner?

Steak, Gnocchi,green beans & Honey Sesame Yams

Farmers Sausage, tortellini, & roaster carrots and brussle sprouts

Fruits salad with dragon fruit, apples, watermelon,pineapple, kale & chia seeds with a drizzle of honey

Gluten free pasta with cheese and hemp seeds with veggies on the side

Portabello mushroom pizza caps

Cuca-apple Salad

Cuca-apple  Salad

This is a nice quick salad. Easy to throw together and different from you normal.

6 Mini Cucumbers
1 cup of diced Tomatoes (fresh)
2 rings of Pineapple ( fresh is best)
1 handful of Mint (fresh)
1 tbsp Balsamic Vinegar
2 tsp Chia seeds

Chop up the fruit and veggies and place them in a bowl. Dice up the mint and add it to the bowl. Top with balsimic vinegar and chia seeds. toss. Place in the fridge for about 1/2 an hour to let all the flavour mingle. Toss again and serve.

Servings for approximatley 3 people

Mamavation Monday~~~~~~ For the love of the run

Today the world was once again shocked but the actions of others. Today there was an attack on the Boston Marathon. It is easy to say that it shook the world. Even non runners know about this marathon, it is the holy grail for most runners to even be able to qualify for it.
Today was scary for everyone but especially for many runners, who aspire to run in high profile races. I hope in the days to come we can get some answers for this. 
I will still continue to run on my own but right now high profile races are off my radar. I know everyday there are risks and some I just choose not to take. While in Canada the levels of bombings are much lower, taking the risk still feels too scary today.