Check out

So I hope by now it is pretty apparent that we are all a little different. Now two people are exactly the same. Also no two parents deal with their children the same way. Everyone has their little grievances that grate their nerves a bit more. But that is okay!

As long as your child is happy and thriving, people should support you, right!?!?!?! WRONG

People judge, they are all Judgey McJudgersons. It’s true, it a fact. The internet is full of them the blogging world is full of them. You can’t do much with out some one judging you. You can’t look at your phone at the park. You can’t just take a “me” day and let the kids watch TV and eat junk all day. You even can’t be the most doting parent who preps every meal in cute shapes and spends every waking moment playing and engaging with their child.

I have been judged for a lot of things. Sometimes things I do or don’t do. The nature of it is it sucks. In this world sometimes I feel like I’ll never be enough. I can’t do it all. I don’t even want to do it all. I love my kids but yes some days I’ll lock myself in the bathroom to have a moments peace. That doesn’t even work because they on right on the other side of the door. Some days my hubby gets home and all I can think about is leaving the house with out the tiny beasts. Does it make me love them any less? No, it quite simply means I know my limits. I don’t spend every waking moment with my best friend for days on end without needing a me break. With out phasing out and checking my phone to see what is going on or if I have e-mail. Some times we just need space.

So I would love to say stop judging me, but you wont. Honestly I’ll judge you too! If you know I see you doing something that I think is totally awful and horrible. Like totally helicoptering over your poor child who just wants to play. But hey we are all human, at least I think we all all, unless you are a cyborg. If you are that is cool too! Can we just show a little bit of love.

While  yes it would be awesome to be able to do something without being climbed over, but you know what my kids love me and they know I am hear for them so if it takes, you know, an hour to write a small post. It happens. Yes I get annoyed sometimes and completely pissed off other days. I’m a mom who spends many of her waking hours with small  people  who can be very demanding and in my face ALL THE TIME. They are only young for a bit and some day I thank God for that. Other days I wish they would stay little for a bit longer because they are growing up too fast.

I love my kids and some days  in order to love them better. I need to check out!

Do you check out? You know you do, it’s okay to admit it!


Mamavation Monday —– a few days late

I’m late, I’m late for very important date. No time to say “hello”- “good bye”. I’m late I’m late I’m late!- The White Rabbit

This Monday update is late but I have a good reason, my keyboard on my laptop broke. 😦 I had some letters but not all. As is I”m using hubby’s notebook to write this. It is a full keyboard replacement 😦 I guess the tech found a penny and a safety pin under the keyboard. eeek Oh well it should be fixed soon.

Now that we are done with excuses,on to the update. ———– dead silence————

I don’t have much to up date on as nothing is happening. I have joined a running group, I’m not very fast but I keep going. Last week i did 6 k in about an hour this week I did 7k in 55 minutes. Nothing fantastic but I did it and that is what is important. Also I think it is pretty good because this is the first distance running I have ever done.

The other issues is right now I’m sick again……. this trying for a baby seems to be wearing on my system. That or I am already pregnant and this is morning sickness. Either way even with diet changes I’m super tired and I feel like vomiting. Well see what the next few weeks bring.

The scale is not changing really I’m bouncing around, lose a little gain a little. So frustrating, but I just have to focus on how I am feeling keep getting my work outs in and eat right.

Love you all

What challenges are you facing in your weight-loss journey?

My kids would never……

Admit it you have thought it. Your kids are always so much better behaved then    ( insert names )    kids. You know they are just better all around, because you are a far better parent. Now do you seriously believe that? That you are so much better then they are? Really?

Sometimes I know it is hard to not compare our kids with someone else’s. Especially when your children are doing the opposite of the other person’s.  I know I am guilty of it. Now I have been on both sides of the issue. Sometimes the boys are WILD and I am sooooo embarrassed. I have no idea what has gotten into them but someone must of slipped them crazy pills. Those were honestly earlier days in my parenting when I didn’t realize that sometimes kids are just crazy, I still have moments when I feel so hot with embarrassment but that is my own issue not theirs. I’m sure people think my children at times are just wild nut balls and I don’t care about how they behave. I’m sure some people think I’m too lenient on them, on the flip side I’m sure there are times when people think I am too hard on them..

I am a big believer of ” place and time”, for most behaviors there is a place and time. They are just children after all and learning the world that they live in. They have little bodies that desire to move, a lot. They have brains that desire to be filled with knowledge, so they seek out new experiences and want to know about everything around them. They have amazing imaginations, so there are a lot more wonders in their world.

There are a few things where I do stand my ground with my children. They will be kind and inclusive, I have run into times when they don’t want to play with a particular child. I will pull my child aside and ask them 1st why the don’t want to play with them? 2nd if they would like to be treated this way. Now if the other child is being unkind and that is why my child doesn’t want to play that is understandable. I will though if it seems to be a problem encourage my child to approach the other child and see if something can be worked out. Now at time i will need to mediate remember my children are still young. These though are life skills, these are needed to be leaned. So when I see a parent being totally okay with their child being rude and intentionally excluding, I definitely get a ” my child would never behave like that “.

Another is speaking disrespectfully, now it has happened a few times where on of the children have been sassy and rude, but I deal with it and if they choose to be like that then they choose to not be in the situation. Hateful mean words & tone are not needed. There is usually an amicable way to deal with whatever the situation is. It is though the parents I see who continually allow their children to spew hate at them or others and not do anything about it. No acknowledgement of wrong doing or how they are hurting another person with their words. I really shake my head. now it is not my place to judge as I may be witnessing something that has come to a head and it just can’t be dealt with at that moment or it could be disastrous  Though I do find it happening more and more. Kindness, love and respect seem to be things of the past, relics almost.  Yes though when I hear children spewing at their parents that they hate them or even clearly controlling their parents will with the child’s attitude I will do a ” my kids would never…”

Now I’m not perfect, heck far from it but I parent with love and respect. I will always love my children, I know that they love me to even when they are mad. Sometimes we don’t know how to deal with our children and their behaviors  Sometimes we believe that a parenting class should be required to have children With on going training, because we know that sometimes the on the job training sucks. I hope we are all doing the best we can with the tools we are given. We don’t always know everyone’s story, but we can help them create new chapters in their books.  So maybe next time you see someone struggling with their children instead of thinking ” my kid’s would never be such awful horrible little beings, their mother must let run all over her!” Ask her if she needs a hand, be a friend. maybe even smile and think good thought about her and her children and wish her the best.

So what about you, Have you ever had a ” my kids would never…..”

Mamavation Monday ~~~~ Hard to Get Motivated

This week has been a bit of a downer. I haven’t been getting to the gym like I would like to be. I have continued on both my challenges but I may have hit a road bump. Separated abs 😦 Yup my poor abs have still not healed from my last baby almost 2 years ago. I might have been from previous one but I know for sure from my last. I need to work more now on repairing them and less about the ab exercises right now. I’ll still be keeping up with my cardio but the ab directed exercises need to take a back burner. 😦

I’m super excited for the Mamavation Moms to be announced tonight. I have been watching these ladies go through some crazy hazing this last week and have had fun getting to know them. Congrats to whoever get chosen. You are all winner already for wanting to make that change. 🙂

I really need to take some measurements and get being a bit more accountable with the changes I am wanting to make. Road blocks are not stopping point I can still move forward and get healthier. 🙂

I’m needing to kick myself in the but more and get going with what I want in this life and if I don’t go for it I wont succeed. This has happened before I am super excited to start I go for the first few weeks and then I peter out. I need to keep going. I need to find my motivation and keep going. I signed up for a running clinic starting in a few weeks, training for a 10k and half marathon. I’m hoping it will be good for me 🙂

2012 What a year!

What a year 🙂 So much has happened in our little family is the last year.
Thinking back and reflecting on 2012. Cael celebrated his first birthday and has learned so many things. He can walk, talk use a spoon, fork and a cup. He is so full of fun and it has been an amazing time,
In April a series of events lead Hubby to getting surgery on his ankle for a bone infection, that I guess he has had for years. We are so lucky that it was finally diagnosed and the issue has been solved. So happy that he has been pain free since then, which hopefully means no more flare ups.

Home Learning was really in full swing this year. We have gone on amazing field trips, met some amazing people and looking forward to continuing on this path for us. Damian joined beavers last year but really has gotten into it this year. I have joined on as a colony leader who who knows how long? 😉

This summer was truly amazing  it started off with the Stampede and the 100 year celebration. Damian got to ride in the parade with Great Grandpa. We also got to go to the Ponoka Stampeded with Grandpa, the boys had so much fun with that.  We we on rides, played some games and had a blast. Nothing quite like partying cowboy style!
 After a few weeks with family in Alberta we headed home to prepare for the Epic Extravaganza. What else could you call a 17 day road trip with three children across Canada and the upper USA! 4 provinces and I think 13 states we crossed while driving. We started off the trip with Hubby and mine 10 year high school reunion, and some fun on the lake. .  Saw my sisters, they both live far away from me, and their kids. Saw Hubby’s Dad & his little family,stayed with them for a few days.We went to Niagara Falls, one of my bucket list places, we even took a ride on the maid of the mist
 We stopped to see Mount Rushmore, or the “Mountain Men” as I called the last time I saw them ( I was 4 I think) Next to Yellowstone, where we got to see Old Faithful, and buffalo. At both National parks the boys worked towards their Junior Ranger badges, and still talk about them to this day.
Then we stopped in Salt Lake city  for the night to see the temple, So thrilled to be able to have been there as a member this time. Hopefully next time we go we can spend more time. We camped along the way with the children and yes the baby stayed in his cloth diapers for the trek. ( I have that many and with the stops at family I was able to do laundry )
Then fall came, back to reality….. and packing. You see before we left on the Epic Extravaganza we found a new home, A place that was going to meet our need more fully

I celebrated my birthday.I harvested my first successful garden. :)Then the move, I thankfully went off without a hitch. Next came the Damian and Ainsley’s birthdays, wow 6 & 4 I can barely believe it. November then December and I can barely believe it is over again. We have done so much this year but it still feels like 2012 just started.

I’m looking forward to 2013, I’m sure it will be amazing. We have plans and goals, I hope it works out for the best 🙂

It is a Challenge

Weightloss is no easy feat. It is hard work, lots of hard work. it is something you have to commit to. Every day you need to make an honest effort to stick to a proper diet, and exercise  even when you see all the ymumy things you could be eating.

Right now is the season of excess and gorging. So many people eat way more food then they should at fancy parties and get togethers. They drink way too much as well! Did you know that alcohol can contribute to weight gain and well and stalling a weightloss? Yes it is a sad truth for some who are on this journey to be brush with extra challenges, but you need to push through.

For those who have hit their goals and gotten to where they want to be. Now is not the time to lose it! Keep going don’t get lax. Often people will put on 5- 10  or more pounds through the holiday season. To some that may not seem like a lot but to someone who has been struggling with weightloss it can seem like a ton.

For me it seems so hard to get anywhere. When I’m at a party and there is yummy amazing food, yes I want to eat it. I get to eat real food without having to share. I get a dessert for ME! It is really easy to quickly go to far.

There is good news though!

You can still keep up with you goals. Eat smart and be conscious about what is going into your body.  Now still don’t go gorging at the parties. But you may be able to have a small treat, or a drink.

Keeping you healthy in this time of excess is very important. It can lead to less sicknesses which means not having to miss out

Sharing the milk ~~ My story

Have you heard the saying ” Sharing is Caring”? Most of us learned this saying at a very young age, usually even before we start school. While this lovely mantra has been ingrained into our brains, many use it now with a mocking tone. This is unfortunate but sharing something with someone is a wonderful way to show how you care. There are many thing we can share in this world, but what would you say if I said you could share a gift of amazing nutrition with another? Most people would jump at the opportunity to share nutrition with someone, even more so for a baby.  Would you be shocked if I told you that people simply don’t do it. They don’t share with the babies, at least not many. They used to, but with the medical system we have been scared out of it. I’m talking about breast milk, it is a life supporting freely flowing source that comes out of almost every women, to one extent or another. Some women produce large amounts, some produce less. I was very fortunate to be a women who produced excessive milk. So much milk I needed to pump off for comfort reasons. with my first two I saved the milk. We used some of it eventually, but a lot just got old an went into the garbage. This saddened me but I had no idea what to use it for. It was never enough for milk banks, and I felt fundamentally opposed to the sale of my breast milk when I gave it to them for free. About two years ago, I heard about a wonderful Idea I hadn’t ever though of, giving the milk to a mom in need!  That way I could give what I had and she could use it, no matter how much or how little I had. This made my heart fill with so much happiness. I at the time didn’t have any milk to donate, due to being pregnant, but I loved watching the milky love flow.

Cael at 16 days

After I had Cael once again I had a surplus of milk. So I did what I had been doing with the previous two, I pumped. I didn’t pump all that often but I still had a pretty good storage in my freezer.  When Cael was 15 days old my friend had a baby, he ended up being a very big surprise. R was born with Downs Syndrome, He was a tiny little guy that had a whole world to conquer. We soon found out that he had a heart issue and feeding at the breast was exhausting for him, it took too much work and was strenuous. My friend then planned on pumping but between R and his older brother there just never seemed to be enough hours in a day. I spoke with her and asked what their plans were, she expressed frustration to me that she felt like she had no options. They couldn’t afford the milk bank but she wasn’t able to pump. She knew with all his health issue being on breast milk was going to be what would be best but it just seemed like it wouldn’t work. I took a deep breathe and offered she all I could. I told her I would give R my milk if she would have it. I really wasn’t sure what the response was going to be, we hadn’t ever talked about milk sharing before, in any real depth. What was just a few short seconds felt like forever. She said sure, she wanted to clear it with her hubby first but she would be more than happy to accept my gift.I breathed a sigh of relief, because what I was offering was something very unusual to many people After that I also sourced donors for her using the Human Milk 4 Human Babies Facebook groups.

milky brothers Left is R. right is Cael

Having breast milk turned out to be the greatest gift for R. after surgeries he has recovered much better then he did when he was having formula. His mom said she really noticed a difference in him when he is on breast milk or formula. He would gain weight and maintain better when he was having breastmilk, R would thrive with his momma milk. Time has passed and he is now reaching 18 months and my heart still smile thinking how we were able to help just one little guy. I know that he is doing better due to the nutrition I and several other moms were able to give. Not to mention the money we helped them save 🙂

This week is the 2nd Annual World MilkSharing Week. It is due to moms reaching out and helping on another that many many many babies have been able to have the nutrition they needed for their start in life. They were able to be fed from another mom when circumstances prevented their own mother from fully providing milk. With full disclosure and trust women are able to share this gift with others all around the world. I think this is truly amazing. There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child, why not use the village to feed the child as well.

What’s in Mama’s Stash?

I love my fluffy stash. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, Cloth diapers. I love cloth diapers. I said when I started that I would not be one of those cloth diapering moms who has a billion diapers just because she can. Well it happened, I have so many diapers in so many different styles.  I don’t really double up on colours from the same brand of diaper and I have about 30 pocket diaper. So that gives you an idea of the rage of diapers I have. That is only the tip of what is in Mama’s stash. But it is by far the most fun part.

What do I love right now?

I am loving one sized pockets. They are customizable to what we are needing, the clean up in the laundry super fast. When drying them on the line it takes no time at all. These are really my go to diaper right now. They are also great for travelling we took the on our Epic Extravaganza. The clean and dry really easy and really quickly.
Right now I love the Alva diapers. They sell under a bunch of different names, but I usually get my diapers from TenderTushies Diapers. They have a few prints I have my eyes on right now. 😉 Like this one, or this one and this one. Wonderful people to do business great prices and awesome service.

What about newborns?

My newborn go to is prefolds from Bummis. I love these and I use either a variety of covers or wool covers. I love how they have such a good fit for the individual baby. Both Ainsley and Cael have been in cloth since the day they were born. Now for covers I have tried a bunch and they all have their ups and downs. I’m looking for new options. I like ones that have a good fit and keep poop in. I don’t yet have a LOVE cover. still on the hunt.

So what do I have?

5 OS Bumgenius

4 OS Kawaii Heavy wetter ( animal print )

9 OS Minky diapers ( Alva and some branded )

2 OS Hippkiddos

and a few others but  they are in the wash right now

What is in your Cloth Diaper stash?

The Swimsuit Battle

So most people shop for swimsuits at the beginning of summer. Not me. I have lost about 30 lbs now and I wanted a swimsuit for the end of summer beach season. Plus sales going on are pretty awesome too!

Now I don’t approach swimsuit shopping with much confidence. Really I don’t know a woman who does, but that is besides the point.

So here I am in a store the sells swimsuits. I look at the walls very carefully. There are too many options. I kinda want to walk out right then and there. I need to get a suit that fits though. Ainsley is sitting under a rack. Yes I did this with all three kids and David. This may have made a hard time a teeny bit harder, but it all worked out.

Okay so I’m looking at all these options remembering my super pale skin and stretch mark so I go for the tankini and bottoms and try on a one piece that looks like it might be slimming. It was cute. Then the sales lady spotted me. Not sure If I was grateful that it took her this long or annoyed. It is really neither here nor there. I’m thinking maybe I should go to the store that offers fittings???? But then they want to see me and that might be worse. Oh no what am I going to do, I need something decent to wear on the beach. Something I am willing to be seem in.

I sigh and grab the suits and follow her to the fitting room. She sees I have the monkey’s in tow and asks if I would like the family room. Sure why not. Keeps them from running around the store. Clearly not thinking David is fully capable of taking care of them, it is just my auto reaction to find a place to care for them.

So I have Damian and Ainsley with me and Cael is on David’s back, all should be good. Slip into two swimsuit should be nice and quick. I try the one piece first, it’s black with some neat criss cross action going on with a bit of white. It was cute on the hanger. I need to stop thinking things that are cute on the hanger are going to be nearly as cute on me. I felt like a beached orca, and that is really disheartening when you have lost 30 lbs in the last 6 months. It was not cute or fun, more like a horror show where people evacuate the beach for fear of the monster. Yes not enjoying this experience. I go with the next top it is one of those bandeau tankinis with a little bottom. I think the colour was not me. I was done I was a giant army green monster this time. Side profile not to bad front not so friendly.  I feel defeated. I don’t want to try anything more on. Another sign and lets get changed. So far the boys have been okay keeping the curtain closed. which is really nice. I know I shouldn’t be thinking how nice they have been , that usually asks for trouble. Sure enough I have the bathing suit off and I’m standing there in my underwear and Ainsley whips open the curtain. Fortunately there weren’t many people around but really between the suits and everyone getting to see me in all my glory could this trip be much worse. Luckily no. We shopped a bit for dresses I left the mall with no bathing suit. I’ll return again. Maybe I’ll go to the store that fits you for swimsuits? I just don’t have $100 to spend on something like that.. ugh

I breastfeed because I’m lazy

Yup if it involves little works I’m all over it. Really once we have figured out latch how much more effort does it take to breastfeed?
Get up to feed the baby in the middle of the night ? Nope roll over and breastfeed. This is where co-sleeping helps out
Prep bottles? Nope Always ready, always with me. I would never pack enough either I forget things
Clean and sanitize? Nope, it would really hurt to sanitize my breasts, ouch. It is always ready and perfect for baby.
Worry about running of formula? No. I never have to stress about having enough milk. We work on a supply and demand system. He wants it and I supply it!
Worry about the grocery budget? No extra cost of formula really save money. Damian had some when he was a baby and oh man that stuff is pricey. Also I don’t eat that much more breastfeeding than I do not. Extra good snacks I should be having any ways to keep my body healthy.
Worry about weaning? Nope, he will stop we he is done. Extended breastfeeding has many advantages

I nurse my babies. I’m proud of my ability to nurse my babies, and for a long time. I nurse my babies until they self wean. Why? Also because I am lazy, I really have no desire to take something away from my child that brings them nourishment and comfort. Most of the time I love nursing my babies, even my toddlers. Nursing toddlers brings it’s own level of amusement, but all in all it works really well and we enjoy our time together.

I don’t understand how people can possibly insist it is easier to bottle feed, it sounds like way too much work. All the cleaning and preparing and buying. I love breastfeeding my children and I will continue to do it till they are done with that aspect of our relationship.


This would be one of those interesting moments, Cael wanted some milk with his cookie. He often nurses and works on a snack at the same time.