My kids would never……

Admit it you have thought it. Your kids are always so much better behaved then    ( insert names )    kids. You know they are just better all around, because you are a far better parent. Now do you seriously believe that? That you are so much better then they are? Really?

Sometimes I know it is hard to not compare our kids with someone else’s. Especially when your children are doing the opposite of the other person’s.  I know I am guilty of it. Now I have been on both sides of the issue. Sometimes the boys are WILD and I am sooooo embarrassed. I have no idea what has gotten into them but someone must of slipped them crazy pills. Those were honestly earlier days in my parenting when I didn’t realize that sometimes kids are just crazy, I still have moments when I feel so hot with embarrassment but that is my own issue not theirs. I’m sure people think my children at times are just wild nut balls and I don’t care about how they behave. I’m sure some people think I’m too lenient on them, on the flip side I’m sure there are times when people think I am too hard on them..

I am a big believer of ” place and time”, for most behaviors there is a place and time. They are just children after all and learning the world that they live in. They have little bodies that desire to move, a lot. They have brains that desire to be filled with knowledge, so they seek out new experiences and want to know about everything around them. They have amazing imaginations, so there are a lot more wonders in their world.

There are a few things where I do stand my ground with my children. They will be kind and inclusive, I have run into times when they don’t want to play with a particular child. I will pull my child aside and ask them 1st why the don’t want to play with them? 2nd if they would like to be treated this way. Now if the other child is being unkind and that is why my child doesn’t want to play that is understandable. I will though if it seems to be a problem encourage my child to approach the other child and see if something can be worked out. Now at time i will need to mediate remember my children are still young. These though are life skills, these are needed to be leaned. So when I see a parent being totally okay with their child being rude and intentionally excluding, I definitely get a ” my child would never behave like that “.

Another is speaking disrespectfully, now it has happened a few times where on of the children have been sassy and rude, but I deal with it and if they choose to be like that then they choose to not be in the situation. Hateful mean words & tone are not needed. There is usually an amicable way to deal with whatever the situation is. It is though the parents I see who continually allow their children to spew hate at them or others and not do anything about it. No acknowledgement of wrong doing or how they are hurting another person with their words. I really shake my head. now it is not my place to judge as I may be witnessing something that has come to a head and it just can’t be dealt with at that moment or it could be disastrous  Though I do find it happening more and more. Kindness, love and respect seem to be things of the past, relics almost.  Yes though when I hear children spewing at their parents that they hate them or even clearly controlling their parents will with the child’s attitude I will do a ” my kids would never…”

Now I’m not perfect, heck far from it but I parent with love and respect. I will always love my children, I know that they love me to even when they are mad. Sometimes we don’t know how to deal with our children and their behaviors  Sometimes we believe that a parenting class should be required to have children With on going training, because we know that sometimes the on the job training sucks. I hope we are all doing the best we can with the tools we are given. We don’t always know everyone’s story, but we can help them create new chapters in their books.  So maybe next time you see someone struggling with their children instead of thinking ” my kid’s would never be such awful horrible little beings, their mother must let run all over her!” Ask her if she needs a hand, be a friend. maybe even smile and think good thought about her and her children and wish her the best.

So what about you, Have you ever had a ” my kids would never…..”

The Rights of a Child

Today is National Child Day. Today we celebrate the rights of children.

Canada’s national “Child Day” is held November 20th each year as enacted in Bill C-371, otherwise known as the  Child Day Act, by the Parliament of Canada in 1993.
It commemorates the United Nations adoption of two landmark documents concerned with the human rights of all children and youths.
On “Child Day”, Canadians honour our children and The United Nations Declaration on the Rights of The Child  on November 20th, 1959, and the The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child  on November 20th, 1989.
The Convention spells out the basic human rights to which children (under the age of 18) everywhere are entitled.
The purpose of Child Day is to promote awareness about the Convention to Canadians .
It is also a day to support Canadian children’s rights by voicing your concerns about Canadian children’s rights violations to the politicians of Canada and to educate our children about their rights and responsibilities.
All children have rights. More then just basic rights of food, water and shelter. Children have  the right to being cared for in a loving and understanding home, whether that be with the parents or another designated home. They have the right to social security, to grow and develop in health. I love that there are so many rights put out for our children to keep them safe and equal human beings in this world.
I feel that there are a few things more for me personally that children have rights to!
I believe all children have the right to the best food for their health, even in infancy. Yes I mean human milk, if you can’t produce it there are other ways. I believe that a child owns their body, all of it even from the time they are born, they have a right to not have their bodies modified, unless truly medically necessary  I believe children have a right to be equal with all other human beings, they are not less because they are little. I believe that children have the right to be children. That means they can play, laugh, climb trees and snuggle. They have the right to learn their emotions, it is a big job and they need your loving kindness. 
Children are wonderful little gifts.  They are innocent precious souls. How you treat them will form how the new generation will be. While you must fill their rights laid out by the UN, remember to fill their rights are a person, as you expect your right to be filled.