Not Qualified……

Some days I looks at the boys and just wonder how the heck this all happened? How did I become a mom to 4 little boys? Am I even qualified to do this?

Honestly, probably not. But really who qualifies parents, nobody. Really just about anyone can become a parent. The question that usually there ends up being is how good of a parent are you. That, though still depends a lot on what your definition of being a good parent is.

Back to my point though. Am I qualified for this position? Technically I am pretty qualified. I have done child development classes, I have read the books. I took a class running a preschool/ day care in high school. I Have a few psychology classes about life span development. I have dealt with children with different needs. Heck I even ran my own daycare in my house at one point. Sounds pretty qualified to me, but not really.

Let me tell you a story. I was the the best parent before I had kids. I really was, because I had read the books. I had taken classes. I knew kids needed consistency and structure. They needed to sleep in their beds, they should fall asleep on their own, no coddling necessary. They will be properly behaved in all social situations and respectful. After all that is how they are supposed to be. ( yeah right….

Now here is reality. When D came along I had such high hopes for my plan. We had his own room set up, loving painted and decorated, with a matching bed set. it was adorable. We did have a bassinet for him in our room but that would just be for the first little bit. Well he had other plans for us. He hated sleep, it was the worst thing ever, unless he was held tightly to fall asleep. Then if you tried to even think of putting him in his crib you might as well just rip his arms off, for that is how he screamed. As he grew so did his energy. D wasn’t your normal typical textbook kid. ( are any of them really? ) Then A came along  and that was a whole new ball of wax. In every way that he looked like his brother his personality was different. He was a whole different kid. and then C boom, different kids and E is being a whole different ball game too.

Seriously I am constantly learning and making this up as the days go by. Each child is teaching me to be a better mom and a different mom. My views change with each child and my approaches adjust with each child. Most days I feel like I’m just staring at them wondering what I got myself into. With all the reading and all the books I still have 4 very different human being that I am in charge of rearing to be respectable members of society…..  I’m not qualified for this.

Then again as their mother is there anyone more qualified for this position? I know these boys better than most people ever will. I know their quirks I know their likes I know their passions. I know their hearts and their breath. I know every little bit on their sweet little head. I may not be qualified but they, I’m pretty sure, qualify me.

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