I think that Doula’s are one of the most under use birth tools out there. They are a wonderful tool for any birthing mother or couple out there. Now often doula’s are misunderstood and people have no idea how they can actually help you. Doula’s are not midwives and midwives or doctors do not replace a doula. This is an important thing to clarify right of the get go. They are very different professions and they have very different jobs.
I didn’t have a doula with my first. Honestly I didn’t know they existed. I didn’t know a lot of things when I had my first. ( more on that in a later post ) I had my husband and my grandmother there, they were both wonderfully supportive of me. Though with only a loose birth plan, not knowing my rights of informed choice, and a medical staff that refused to listen to a first time mom. Let’s just say some stuff happened and I’m not happy with how I was treated.
With my second I had a team of doula’s. They were wonderful ladies who were essential to my birth being more respected than my first. They took notes and pictures, massaged me. Lifted me up when I was feeling like I couldn’t do it anymore. Along with them was my husband and my best friend. I can honestly say it was my best birth of the three. There was still some things done that were not consented to but I’m feeling it was just part of being in the hospital.With my third I had a doula but due to the circumstances surrounding the birth she was not much of an asset. Things happened to fast and with a transfer to the hospital due to health related concerns she walked into turmoil. I don’t fault her as no one knew what was going on and I was in such emotional upheaval that I barely noticed her and don’t know what, if anything she said to me.
With my fourth I am planning a very different birth experience. I’m going into this as a empowered woman with tool and the belief in herself. and her capabilities. I have found a doula who respects birth in it’s most natural form. She trusts the natural process and she believe in the woman’s ability to birth. I know that she is supportive of my choices and I know she will stand by me as I advocate for my rights. I may almost go as far as saying I love her.
Having a doula that will blend well with you and respect your space is most important. This person needs to be trusted, as they will be with you in your most primal and vulnerable state. They will often be with you more than your care provider, having a front seat to all the goings on in the birthing space. You doula will remain a part of your birth forever and hopefully they will be a wonderful peaceful part of it.
Did you have a doula? Do you want a doula?