The Modesty Issue. Is it a state of mind?

Modesty is always a hot topic. People have some very different views about what is considered appropriate or not. The thing is, it tends to cause more blasting and lashing out at others than it really should. People of all different cultures wear different clothing. What is considered modest to one person is over dressed or even underdressed to another.

When I hear about modesty this comic often comes to mind. I have no idea where it originated so it you know please let me know so I can credit the source. 
Really when it comes to modesty I don’t think it is all about the clothes you are wearing but the attitude you have about yourself. Do you behave and think modestly? I think you can be wearing any amount of clothes but your actions and behaviour depict your modesty. If you put on an outfit with the thoughts in mind of attracting sexual attention and engaging in immodest behaviours. Then you are not going to exactly but putting out modest thoughts.
Modesty I think can also be about your comfort levels. If you are wearing something where you are feeling uncomfortable where you feel exposed then that is what people will see. 
The way you think and act is often a direct reflection in how you will be treated. Now yes there are always extenuating circumstances that change things but it s a pretty close correlation. 
Now when I talk to people about this often I get asked if I think that then girls are “asking for it?” Simple answer is not always. Now that can get a bit of a blasting but it goes back to the thought of your thoughts matter. Are you sending invitations? Are you behaving in a sexual manner or are you behaving in a modest tone? 
No I do not think that just because the thoughts and actions are towards one another are sexual in nature that there shouldn’t be respect. Any behaviours should always be consensual. AT ALL TIMES. That is non negotiable. and  should always be in a sober manner. 
Both men and women need to move towards more modest behaviors I think. I think our children are too sexual in this day and age. I think our media is far to sexual and lacks a general respect to others. Now I’m not saying we all need to wear big baggy clothing that covers everything. But your clothing and your actions should reflect how you want to be treated.
We need to start blurring the lines. It will be better for everyone if the line and boundaries that go with it can be easily seen and respected.

The School Quandary

Every year I go through this same issue. I try to figure out what will be the best options for my kids with their schooling lives. Now granted to them we really don’t do much but I stress and wonder if it is all worth it. Now I’m not talking about putting them into a brick and mortar school but I am talking about what program we want to be enrolled with.
We happen to live in a fantastic province for homeschooling, and there are so many options. I have really enjoyed our unschooling ways but there are so many schools that require a bit more reporting and in turn give you more classes and other options free of charge. I still would get my funding plus the classes. This is where my quandry sits as I would love for the boys to have more options to do things, but do I want to sacrifice what I know works for our family for maybe classes the kids would enjoy?

This quandary leaves me often wondering what we need as a family and what really works for us. We need activities that keep us feeding our souls. We need to do things that cause us less stress not more. We need down time and time to connect. We need to be able to have flexibility to enjoy our lives.
Yes the boys need to learn, but they do that with the constant push of work books.  Could we do more some days sure. The boys do, do more than I plan for them. They learn in ways that amaze me some days. Sure there are things that their skills need to develop more on. You know what though so do I. I make spelling mistakes, I don’t read as often as I should and I get other facts mixed up. ( not always my finest moments) But learning to grow from mistakes are important. You can’t always be right.
So I will probably continue with my quandry for a few ore weeks. I will check out other local schools but I honestly doubt I will end up changing. What works for us last year will work this year. Also I really don’t need extra stress with the baby on the way.

Time to learn?!?!


As the leaves change and people being to think of Back to School.

I had a bit of an odd question today. A family member asked is Bobo was excited to get to start learning. I was momentarily confused and thrown off. You see Bobo starts kindergarten this year, but seeing as we homeschool it’s not like he is off on some major adventure.  Sure this year there will be a few new books for him, but he got those last year. Sure he will be in a few different classes but he attended some last year as well. Really I think the only difference is he will be in Beavers this year and maybe 1-2 other classes that he wasn’t old enough for last year.  The the extra funding and reporting for me which really isn’t something that will be noticed by him.

So it go me thinking a bit. How many other people think that learning starts once they enter into formal schooling. Not that anything we do is really formal, but that aside. Bobo has been learning since he was born just like everyone else. Now he is a bit more methodical than his older brother. He likes activities that he sits and quietly focuses on a task. He like to write, read and play with lego. He is a thinker, he likes to process the world going on around him. Lets be honest he is really pretty much done with the requirements of kindergarten in the province, Bug saw to that over the last year.

Bobo will continue life as pretty much the same he will talk to our Learning Consultant over the year and tell her about the things he does. He will play and enjoy life. Sure we will read and he might just start doing it more himself but I’m not worried. See I know he is learning I know there is no start or end time to the wonders of his little brain. He is still be just who he is, my sweet, quirky, opinionated little guy. He’ll learn and what he doesn’t learn today he will learn tomorrow.

Time to Learn?!??


As the leaves change and people being to think of Back to School.

I had a bit of an odd question today. A family member asked is Ainsley was excited to get to start learning. I was momentarily confused and thrown off. You see Ainsley starts kindergarten this year, but seeing as we homeschool it’s not like he is off on some major adventure.  Sure this year there will be a few new books for him, but he got those last year. Sure he will be in a few different classes but he attended some last year as well. Really I think the only difference is he will be in Beavers this year and maybe 1-2 other classes that he wasn’t old enough for last year.  The the extra funding and reporting for me which really isn’t something that will be noticed by him.

So it got me thinking a bit. How many other people think that learning starts once they enter into formal schooling. Not that anything we do is really formal, but that aside. Ainsley has been learning since he was born just like everyone else. Now he is a bit more methodical than his older brother. He likes activities that he sits and quietly focuses on a task. He like to write, read and play with lego. He is a thinker, he likes to process the world going on around him. Lets be honest he is really pretty much done with the requirements of kindergarten in the province, Damian saw to that over the last year.

Ainsley will continue life as pretty much the same he will talk to our Learning Consultant over the year and tell her about the things he does. He will play and enjoy life. Sure we will read and he might just start doing it more himself but I’m not worried. See I know he is learning I know there is no start or end time to the wonders of his little brain. He is still be just who he is, my sweet, quirky, opinionated little guy. He’ll learn and what he doesn’t learn today he will learn tomorrow.

Do I have a choice?

Pregnant and scared. Usually that is what is to be expected of first time mothers. Who knows what is going on with your body. The last few generations of women have lived in this shrouded fear of birth. Birth is now scary and painful and awful. But was it always this way?

NO

Have you chatted with your grandma or great grandma? I’m sure she will have a very different view on birth and her stories will be very different from those you see on TV. Back then birth wasn’t as scary. Sure there were complications but the view of birth was different. Birth was just as much of a part of life as death was. It was natural. Often had at home with a wise women or midwife in attendance with other women around to help.
Now don’t get me wrong medical advances have saved lives. Though sometimes you need to ask the question at what cost. Birth trauma runs rampant in our developed civilized North American culture. Pregnancy and birth is a disease that needs to be managed. Tests need to be taken scans need to be done, often with high false positive ratings.
With my first I signed on with a wonderful doctor team. They were really nice to me but my appointments were so rushed. Questions asked, requisitions forms handed to me not really knowing what they were looking for just told that I needed to get these test done ” for my baby’s safety”.  Blood pressure, fundal height fetal heart tones and away they ran. I had to have test redone because I didn’t know I was to fast before. Tests redone because they had a high false positive rating so they just had to make sure. I was young and while I knew I was going to refuse some testing ( amino, & genetic) the rest of these tests were never an option. I saw this doctor group again with my second child, very much the same process.

20 weeks

With my third I had moved and in a new area. I decided to try midwives. I was surprised, they asked for my consent before giving me any requisition forms for tests. we discussed what the tests were for and why they needed them done. Some tests they suggested on passing on due to no risk factors. It was a different experience for my prenatal. I felt like my opinion mattered, I was important.

Really it boiled down to respect. I felt like my midwives took time to respect me and the choices I had with my body and my baby. In the days of women stomping around shouting about freedom and choice it is amazing how many are not actually pushing for their choice. To know what is being decided about their body. Sure it could just be a blood test or a ultrasound, but WHY? Why is this test necessary? Is it even? What are the risks? With all sorts of odd studies coming out about different interventions and tests holding very damaging effects, we need to ask about our choices.

Food based Russian Roulette

Now being the nutritionally savvy person I am, I like to think I have a grasp on food. I know what is good for your body and I know what is bad. I can cook awesome food that is super healthy without even thinking about it. It’s like a gift I have. Normally our food has been really good. We have the odd indulgence but we definitely eat better than the average North American.

You know what though, little baby sweet pea doesn’t give a rats ass what Mommy thinks about eating healthy.

What do I get cravings for? Something deep friend, smothered in gravy and cheese. Yes my current love is poutine. You should have it if you haven’t before, it is awesome. I want salt and lots of salt. Like I’m telling you I could just crack the sea salt right into my mouth and be happy. Now I know this isn’t all the good for me. I know we need to balance food.

But little baby sweet pea still doesn’t give a rats ass. If I don’t give my little fetus what my body is craving I get to vomit. That’s seems to be my choice right now. Eat what I crave or hug a toilet. This really isn’t too hard of a choice. The problem comes when I want something but I have no idea what. This create a very emotional time because I know if I don’t eat I will be sick and if I eat the wrong thing I will be sick. Kinda feels like I’m running around blindfolded in the grocery store with a gun to my head… pick the wrong thing and DEATH. Yes that may sound a touch dramatic but unless you have experienced this level of sickness and heartburn you can’t possibly understand.

Yes so what’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner ………. who knows???????

I’m sure the other children can survive on what they can reach and what I can throw on a plate without being sick, right? I’m sure. Oh and what dad makes when he is home. ( He is awesome like that )

More than just building blocks

Blocks are wonderful things. The boys spend a fair amount of time building things. When they are working with the blocks they are learning so much more.
The belly also needed a picture. 19 weeks
As they are building the are developing so many skills for life. Spatial awareness, hand eye coordination and more things that I’m not even sure about. The thing is when they just look like they are playing, they are doing so much more. Remember a child’s work is their play.

Trying to make a change

You know what you want to do with your health. Though the big question is what are the steps that you need to take? Do you need to do a complete diet overhaul? Join a gym? Get a trainer? It all can get very overwhelming. Particularly if you are a busy mom with little ones it can seem like too much.

So what do you do?

Well remember back in school the ” K.I.S.S” acronym? If you don’t then you really need to know about this. It is quite easy and can be applied in many aspects of life.  Keep It Simple Silly ( or whatever “S” word you choose to use)

Thats about it. Keep it simple. Your body got the way it was over years, it wont change in just a few days it will take time and effort. Making small simple manageable steps will keep you going. Major over hauls get exhausting. Cutting out all your fave foods suck ass. You can make the change you want you just need to start smaller.

Start with going for a evening walk with the family or without if that will help sanity. Bring up the pace mix up the terrain. ( I have no shortage of hills in my area) Look up different workout routines on YouTube. Some of them can be really fun. Go try a yoga or Zumba class. For classes I wouldn’t suggesting getting a long membership right off the bat go for a month or two before shelling out the big $$$.

Try for one or two carb & sugar free dinners a week. Add raw veggies to all your lunches. Grab something new from the health alse next time you are in the grocery store ( not the treats, the real food)

Small and simple differences can make for better changes. More lasting changes.

If you choose to do a detox or cleanse keep the timing short but at least 21 days. It is said that it takes 21 days to make a habit. You don’t want to do a sugar cleanse just to binge after it.

What small and simple changes have you made this week towards better health