You know what sometimes homeschooling really does have it’s setbacks. The long days when you aren’t feeling well, and dealing with friendships. See when you are sticking your children with other kids all day five days a week they will generally form a bond with one another. It is different when homeschooling, they don’t see the same kids everyday. It depends on the activity and where you are as to who there is to interact with. I strive very hard most days to get the boys out and about. They are very social kids and they have no qualms with playing with anyone else.
The problem is trying to help create that bond. Most people search for the solid friendship with another human being. Most people look for their best friend. Sure in the younger years your best friend may only last a few weeks, but it is an important relationship building experience.
Now I live where there are apparently lots of kids but you don’t see them. Any of them, seriously. I can throw rocks at an elementary school from my front door and except for morning and after school I really don’t see other children. Sure when we go over to the park there may be one or two but there isn’t a ton. I have tried connecting with other families in the homeschooling. It seems that connecting is hard and limited. At least for us. The strange thing is we have a very fluid schedule. It feels like others just don’t want to connect with us. 😦
It is hard knowing that you are being excluded. It is even harder knowing that your child is being excluded. When that sweet smiling face looks at you wanting to know if they can go play with the other child and you have to tell them that they are busy. Then they hear at the next group gathering how they were playing with another child. Then he looks at you with his loving kind blue eyes and asks why don’t they want to be his friend and play with him anymore. I have to smile back at him and tell him that I have no idea. I really don’t.
Some people think that homeschooling you will be free of bullying and peer exclusion. They are wrong. You can limit it, but it can almost be worse. Not only is another child excluding your child, but their parents are actively facilitating it. It sucks, it really does.
As a victim of excessive bullying, I strive to teach my children to be kind to others. It pains me when he doesn’t understand why others are unkind. It just doesn’t come to him, he wants to play with everyone. I guess I just live in a slightly different world from those around me.
Have you had to deal with your child being intentional excluded? How did you deal with it?
Have you ever been on a roller coaster? One of the real awesome ones that go up and down and fling you all around? You know the one that are better if the are faster and go upside down? Well roller coasters are just awesome. They give you an amazing thrill that just can’t be beat for some people.
You know what roller coaster is not awesome an emotional one. Pregnancy puts me on a steep emotional roller coaster. Add in some stress and the situation can get a little dire. I will be sitting thinking about something or nothing and I will have an overwhelming urge to cry. Or the bread isn’t fluffy enough so I just want to punch the entire loaf and chuck it out the window. I’m not usually this irrational( a bit but not this much) but this time it is so much worse. I feel a little crazy and a lot unstable. I seriously have no idea how I’m going to react in any situation. Some days it makes me want to just stay home because it is just easier that way. It would be wonderful if I had people who understand how I feel and what I am going through but alas that isn’t seeming like it will happen anytime soon. When you are going through emotional turmoil it seems like everybody sucks.
It has been an interesting few months. With changing distance learning programs I am really getting to see more of my son and who he is. I see a child who is very interested in life and knowing more. I see a child who likes to explore the world from the highest vantage point that he can reach. I see a child who has no problem introducing himself to a new person and starting a conversation. Damian is an amazing little guy, I knew this before, I see more of it now. While as his parent I still have a level of expectations for him and I do get caught up in them at times. I am learning to slow down my level of parental involvement to trusting speed. Once I trust my son it is amazing how much he is capable of. When he knows that I trust him he knows that he can trust himself as well. Trust is really a excellent teaching tool. He knows that I trust him to do things and he trusts that I will help him if he needs it. He trusts that I will be understanding and respectful of his learning. If he needs me I am there but I will not invade his learning with tests and quizzes of knowledge. It is amazing what a person can do when they are releases of unneeded pressure. In the younger years learning is accumulative. it all builds on each other. Simply put, you have to know your numbers before you can do math or your letters before you can read and spell. It is all very simplistic and easy to do. You can not start teaching a child times tables and expect them to understand when they do not understand what numbers are.
Now some people will wonder how you can just go about letting the child do as they want. They must learn something! Teach them as much as they can in their young formative years. If you don’t they will be doomed doomed forever! That I guess works for some people, but I want my child to learn how to learn. I think knowing how to find out information. And believe it or not it works. Bug wants to explore the world. Trust is an amazing thing to give your child and far to often we don’t trust any more. We are slowing down and we are letting things flow. Allowing them to realize how capable they are is so much easier than forcing them to learning everything that they may ever need in their life. Slow down, trust, it will come.
You may have noticed a distinct lack of posts over the past……. oh say few months.
Yup we are expecting a bundle of joy to join our family. Number 4 will certainly enrich our lives to a new level.
How am I feeling? CRAPPY & SICK
I’m at 16 ish weeks and still spending once or twice a day smiling at my toilet bowl. I’m hoping I will be feeling much better soon. I will be updating every now and then with how I am feeling, emotionally and physically.
As for right now emotions are still on random high alert. You never know how I am going to be feeling from day to day, heck from minute to minute. Physically still very run down and exhausted. It may have something to do with three other children but who knows. 😉 Starting to feel a bit of movement which is nice.
All will be be good and we are very excited to welcome our new little one before the end of the year.