I have heard time and time again that the best person qualified to love you, is you. This is really true for everyone but I think really needs to ring louder for women. Living in the mommy world has shown me mommy guilt. It is a rampant disease that affects most mom’s, at least the ones I know and interact with.
GUILT a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime,wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
Now imagined is a big one with mom’s I think. We moms constantly compare themselves to our friends and other moms. There is always something about our lives that we want to change and it seems like so many other have it together. Now who knows maybe I’m the only one who feels this way and because I feel this way I’m projecting my thoughts on to others, but I kinda doubt it.
Now to see where I am going with this you know that friend of yours, who’s life is perfect. She always has the best clothes her hair is perfect she has time to work out and see friends. She is never covered in puke snot or poop. She could probably walk a mile in those heels and still look amazing. Or the one whose kids are angles who sit when they are told and play quietly and nicely where you are out. She never has to raise her voice at her perfect angels. Or what about the one with the perfectly cleaned house, there is never a speck of dust and everything looks like it came out a a magazine. Or, or, or I could go one for awhile. I bet you are thinking about her and how lovely that life sounds. STOP IT!!!!!
That is her reality, sure it sounds nice but you have no idea what she has had to do to get there. Maybe she has something else going on behind the scenes. Heck maybe she desperately wants to be comfortable just like you wearing the same shirt as yesterday, yes we noticed you are wearing the exact same thing and we know it’s not because you love that outfit and you did all your laundry last night. It’s because that was the cleanest thing in the house at the moment. That is okay though, you have different priorities.
Us women need to stop wishing for someone elses life. Now I’m not saying don’t aspire to something different. Don’t try and make your lives better. What we need to do is stop beating ourselves up because we are not as good as………. Some of us are better house keepers, some of us a fashionistas, some of us have more patience and are better with kids.
We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. We need to forgive ourselves for our failings, and love ourselves in spite of them. We are each beautiful women in all our glories. Most of us aspire to be the best parent for our children. Some days the dishes pile up and the dust gathers in the corners, other days the house is clean. Some days you look and feel like a garbage truck ran over you, other days you look like a sexy hot mama. It’s all a balance, it’s all about being happy with you. You are the best you you can be.
Now if you don’t like where you are then change it. Take some time and set a goal. Look for people around you who inspire you. Shut down the negativity in your brain of “I can’t do it”. One of my favorite quotes is from Henry Ford.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
It’s your life you can change it but change it for you, for once. Now don’t stop thinking about others, but allow yourself to be important as well.
The imagined mommy guilt needs to stop. You are not a bad mom because you don’t make smiley bacon and egg breakfasts fro your family every morning with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. You did at least make sure that there was cereal and milk, right? That counts. Just because the mom down the street has colour coordinated lunches for what their children are wearing does not mean you should. Heck I wouldn’t advise it. That sounds like a lot of work. I tell my friends that as long as my kids are happy fed and enjoying life the dirty floor can wait. The dishes can wait until the kids are in bed. My babies are only little for so long, and I’m going to enjoy it. I don’t want my dying regrets to be I wish I spent more time with my kids. So this is me going out and making and effort to stop feeling guilty embracing my choices and spend more time focused on us and our lives and less about why I’m not the perfect mom. I’m a work in progress!